Shibari, or rope bondage, has gained significant popularity in recent years. Sometimes it can be romanticised as some sort of ancient erotic practice, or emphasised as a meditative 'somatic' practice - whilst it can be erotic, and definitely connect you with your body - please (another blog post pending) research the origins! Let's just be clear that it’s deeply rooted in BDSM culture, and understanding this context is important for anyone interested in learning or exploring rope, regardless of their intention of how to practice. Despite its aesthetic appeal and mainstream popularity (especially on IG), it’s not separate from kink or BDSM - it is the B (bondage) in BDSM!
Even if you’re not engaging in deep D/s (Dominant/ submissive) dynamics, you’re still playing with themes of power, vulnerability, and trust. Yes, it can be a form of self-exploration and body connection, and perhaps sometimes simply an artistic practice, but it's important to acknowledge and not downplay the role of power dynamics in this type of play.
Recently, there has been a troubling rise in portraying Shibari as a “healing modality” or therapeutic practice. While some may find personal benefits in bondage, any claims of ‘healing’ should be approached with skepticism. We've seen public cases of abuse, where individuals (often cis men) offering 'somatic' Shibari healing sessions have violated the consent of clients, crossing boundaries under the guise of a healing session. These claims are not only misleading but incredibly dangerous, exploiting people's curiosity, trauma and vulnerability.
The dynamics of Shibari depend heavily on trust, and when misrepresented, can lead to manipulation, especially for those in vulnerable states. It is not uncommon for people to carry deep layers of shame regarding their desires and experiences. Framing Shibari as purely artistic or healing may feel like a way to reconcile those conflicting feelings, but this can also make it harder for people to question or challenge inappropriate behaviour during sessions. Creating any sort of unrealistic expectation that engaging in Shibari will result in profound emotional healing, is I believe, simply a scam.
If we break it down - the tactile nature of rope bondage and the intimacy and risk of allowing someone to explore this practice with you releases endorphins and emotions, it can be overwhelming if you're unprepared. This emotional intensity could bring about feelings (if misinformed or mislead) that the person tying them holds the power to transform or ‘heal’ them. For me, the empowerment, catharsis, or emotional release that occurs during a session comes from within you, not something given or controlled by the person holding the rope. The body's natural reactions to pleasure, trust, and connection are not mystical or “therapeutic,” they are just part of the human experience. I do also want to acknowledge that it's entirely valid to experience Shibari as 'therapeutic' or to find that you’ve overcome personal difficulties through kink relationships. Many people develop a deeper sense of confidence in their bodies or feel they are able to 'work through' traumas within these experiences. For me, the key distinction is that when genuine healing or transformation occurs, it is not attributed solely to another person's ability, but rather something of a co-creation, an experience that is personal but shared between partners. When this happens it also often happens somewhat unintentionally and gradually, shifting and evolving over time rather than in a single session where the intention is 'to heal'. Healing and growth take time, and to claim the ability to transform someone in just one session raises doubts for me.
If you're considering exploring Shibari, I would be cautious of anyone claiming to offer it solely as a therapeutic practice. Rope bondage can be transformative, but it’s a personal journey rooted in mutual consent, awareness, and clear communication. Whether with a professional or a partner, remember that no one can “make” you feel or experience anything.
Note that if you have a history of trauma, please seek support from qualified professionals. Don’t solely rely on a kink practice that might be misrepresented as a form of healing. Yes, it might be a piece of the puzzle in your journey to more self connection and growth, but let that be one part of many other things that support you. As you learn and explore, be open to the shifting ways it can enhance your self-discovery, pleasure, and unique desires. There is no “one true way” to experience Shibari.
Enjoy your own journey and be curious. Just please steer clear of anyone claiming to be a "Shibari healer"!
Much love,
Sophia
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